On The art of Practice and Self-Discipline

Ionut Radulescu: I try as much as I can nowadays because I was thinking differently two years ago. I'm trying as much as I can to not compare myself anymore to other people even though around me and on the media, people are saying, "Work hard." But I also tried to read more and get inspired more by stories that are personal to me. Because there's so much lettering out in illustration and motivational quotes, and it's all over the place. I think to stand out and make it a little bit more unique, it's about you being able to be a little bit more vulnerable. And just with some real stories out there, like stories, and maybe queer culture on self-improvement, but a little bit more unique than people can resonate with and feel like it's just you exploring colors and shapes, but it's you that kind of goes with some faces.

Kashara: Yeah, totally agree.

I: I tried to definitely do that. I treat my work more like a visual diary, and a lot of people write to me because of that. I started out in the beginning of 2014 doing a daily lettering project every day. And I did it for two years. And then I did it again for like, a couple of them a week. So I remember I was traveling to Romania for two weeks, in 2014 and I kind of tricked a little bit because I did a few of the lettering in advance so I could still put them on the grid. But what I learned through that is that sometimes it's important to have talent, but I think sometimes it's even harder to master self-discipline.

K: Yeah, I was actually going to ask you about that - the self-discipline of it all because I like the fact that you could keep up with that project for two years.

I: I started focusing on self-discipline because I listened to an interesting podcast like last week when I was walking around in Bed Stuy for, like, one hour just walking. It was a psychologist from Florida, and she talked about how we build habits and how we keep them. And I think what I learned from that, even though it resonates with me, I think if you build self-discipline on the idea that you're doing something that is better for you, and you built in your mind that, "Hey, if I eat oatmeal every day, I might not lose weight or something, but I'm going to feel better. I'm going to get so many good things out of it." So I think I see self-discipline more as developing it as a lifestyle, and not seeing it as something that is automatic. When I do the lettering, I'm not like, "Oh my god! I have to do it today." I'm more like, "How do I feel today? Do I feel depressed because this guy is not texting me back?" [laughs] That's how I started in 2014. I really liked this guy from Texas. He was adorable, really sweet. And I was in my moment while trying to discover myself, and I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna start the lettering project." That's not the only reason I did that, but I just felt that to keep it up, you have to see it as a visual diary to see it as your own experience. You just have to try to make something that connects with how you feel that day. For me, it worked, and a lot of people wrote to me over the years.

You know when you hear those stories, and they say, "Oh! I started this thing, and in one year, I got all of this!" It took me like five years. It took a long time, and the funny thing is that all these companies that we see Refinery29, Converse, and all that - they wrote to me, I never wrote to them. It's amazing, but basically, all I can say is that I really tried to see it as a visual diary. And I was looking at what other people were doing, but I was really trying to find my own colors and find my own shapes. Even though I was not getting 1000 likes - whatever it is, I think sometimes that's not that important. I was just trying as much as I could to be honest with myself. And I think people resonated with that. Most of the projects that I do nowadays - even for Refinery29 - are around self-improvement, gender fluidity, race, body shapes. It's all about like, human aspects, how we process our images, and how we feel about ourselves. So I feel like I mostly get projects like that from Instagram.

On his beginning

K: Do you mind if we take a step back a little bit? How did you get started, and how did your personal experiences (moving from Romania and living in New York City) impact your work?

I: When I was in Romania, I was like 21 or 22, and I was still in college. And I think at that time in Romania, things were still changing culturally and visually. Romania right now is doing really well. It's an interesting country, Bucharest, the capital, is cool. In that time, things were not as developed almost ten years ago. In around 2009 or 2010, I felt a need to discover myself more. I felt that I was not learning a lot. I felt the need to push myself a little bit more. So what happened was, I was applying to the Master's program at the University of London. And then I remembered that I was working in an ad agency after I graduated before, and I wasn't really happy about it. So I decided to take on freelance projects for magazines to do more of my lettering and illustration. Someone from London kind of discovered me and wrote me saying that he really liked my work and to stop by if I'm ever in London. So I was like, "Oh my God! That's amazing! I want to do that." And it happened that one of the colleges in London asked me to come for an interview for the master's program. So when I was there, I told my friend, "You know what? Someone wrote to me from London. I should just go there and talk to this guy." I remember that day I was going to his office. It was a really beautiful Art Deco, white building and there's the British Museum. It's a really cool area - really peaceful. And I remember him saying, "I really like your work. I want to give you a project." Long story short, he gave me a project that day. And he asked me to stay a few days in London to see how I do with it. And they paid me a little hotel room and all that, which was really cool. I realized during that time when I was doing that, I was in between design, illustration, and drawing words. And he kind of liked that for one of his clients. I was doing some lettering for a restaurant, so they wanted something really vibrant, collages, and the food was popping. Then you write fun letters about Italian culture or whatever. So that's what I did. He liked it. And I was thinking I could actually just go to London. I was also applying to the U.S. at SCAD, and they rejected me in 2011, saying, "Hey, you know, we like your portfolio. We know you've been really trying hard to get a full-tuition scholarship. You've talked with our people from the college for feedback on your portfolio." They wanted to offer me almost a full-tuition scholarship. So I said, "Well, that was great, but I still don't have money," because I still needed $10,000. In Romania, that's a lot, and as an international student, you cannot really take loans.

K: To be fair, that's a lot for anyone.

I: It's a lot anywhere! And the thing is that my mom and dad said, "You know what - I think you should go to London because you got accepted there. Just go there because you can work at this agency and make your expenses. But the bad thing was that in London, it's worse than in the U.S. They didn't have funds at all. So you got accepted to the colleges, but they're like, "You know what? Search for your funding. We don't have funding for you." So that was a bummer. I was like, "Okay, well, in this case, I need to try the U.S., and I also wanted to go a bit farther - not that close to just see something totally different. So I was lucky because they got back to me saying that someone could not accept the award and that they wanted to do another review of the current portfolios for that semester. And they said they were gonna give me full tuition! It was amazing because that was one of the reasons I wanted to take this decision. I still have the plane ticket on my shelf. I still have it, and I know the girl that gave me the ticket. She lives in London. Now she's like a marketing media manager. She's a really cool girl. I flew to the U.S. on August 25, 2011. And I flew to Savannah. So basically, that's when I kind of started merging illustration with lettering and design. And I did a design illustration program. And it was cool, and at first, I was a bit shocked that Savannah is pretty small. It's not a lot of things to do. But it gives you focus. So that's great. And also they're well connected. They have interesting career fairs, and they bring all these magazines like the New York Times and all of these little agencies around to kind of recruit people. So they give you this platform to kind of like jumpstart your career. And it kind of helped me, but it kind of didn't because I was more on a different path. I got an internship when I first moved to New York. But then I kind of found things by myself, which was a relief from college.

K: I feel like a lot of people might would have kind of stopped at the story part in London and be like, "Oh, I didn't get a scholarship. So maybe it's just not gonna work out." So I think it's really amazing that you kind of kept pushing. It seems like the stars kind of aligned, you know, in that way.

I: I think they do if you believe. I don't encourage people to be like me, because for one, it's not good to be like me. I was very emotional about my work. And I loved it. I love to draw, and I liked it. And I was like, "You know what, that is a big opportunity to push this scholarship. I can always come back to London because it's closer to Romania. It was like a two or three-hour trip. It's not really that hard to get there." Although now they have Brexit or something else. Yeah, they're not going to be part of the European Union. But I think that for some people, the U.S. might seem a little bit more commercial in terms of aesthetics. But I feel that in the U.S., it's also much more practical, and it's much more diverse, I think. And when I went to Savannah, there are a lot of interesting entrepreneurs or a lot of interesting people that kind of want to build things. And I also feel like the economic system is a little better - meaning that you have a more solid platform to kind of put an idea or product out there. Whereas in Europe, people might be less willing to respond to that product or idea. And I felt that I had to push the U.S. because I thought it might be an interesting experience compared to Europe. It definitely was scary. I mean, I left with two pieces of luggage. I brought a couple of books, and I think three pairs of black jeans, and a couple of T-shirts because you really cannot carry a lot.

On Bold Moves

K: Looking forward - what are some leaps and bold moves that you would like to make moving forward?

I: I think moving forward, I mostly enjoy working on my own freelance projects. So like, I'm even doing another one right now with Refinery29, and it's about self-care. I would love to open up a small studio with some friends and just have my own type of clients. And my clients can be from the wellness sector, cultural sector, maybe startups, or people starting their stories because it might be less money, but the work might be more authentic. They're people that when you start something, you're really engaged, you're excited, you're true to yourself, you want to tell the message. So if you need a branding agency or a creative team to help you bring that story to life, the branding agency and the client will be happy to make interesting projects together. So that might be the big leap - to be by myself within a team of people, which I'm already kind of doing it right now. But I really believe in teamwork. And as much as I believe in being by yourself, reading books, and developing your own style as a designer, I think you need a team of people from strategists, producers, videographers, photographers, and other designers that can help each other bring projects to life. It could be a big leap to see how I work together with my friends, and how we navigate for a project. One of them is a creative project manager, so he's really good at managing properly. He has a good eye and likes to go to museums. And then another one is a designer, like me, an art director. So that would be a big leap to try and build up my own studio apart from the freelance that I do with clients and companies.

On community and Trust

K: So I feel that brings me to another question about community. And in my personal life, I've been thinking about how you feel like you're keeping up with people on social media, but you're really not. We have all of these connections but do we actually have real intimacy - like deep close friendships? And I've been thinking about how other people view intimacy, and it's maintained. To build something with friends like you want to do, you have to have a real history of forming those close relationships because that requires a lot of trust. So how have you been able to do that?

I: I feel that you can kind of feel the chemistry is right, and you know where to push it. And I have friends that one night I was sitting in bed at their prince place for Christmas Eve, and I was laying in my bed, looking at my phone. And then my friend came to me, and he tells me something about this story, and his eyes were really honest. And I feel those are the moments where you feel that someone is really vulnerable. And they want to talk to you more than just, "Oh, have you seen the latest movie?" or, "Oh my god! Let's do this!" And I feel like we need more to fill each other because if we just talk about what's going on on T.V. and what's going on, we lose meaningful connections. And I try whenever possible to be a bit more vulnerable, and I go a bit deeper with people and see who it resonates with because you need to go deep because otherwise, you're not going to be able to have real live conversations. I don't have a lot of people that I do that with. I have a couple of them in Romania, only two or three, and then in the U.S., I think there are a few right now. Some of them are in L.A., some of them are like in Portland, and I think it's some in New York. I wouldn't say to always be vulnerable, but you have to try as much as you can, whenever possible, with people that you feel they're going to connect with you. Just show them your real self and try to kind of like, tell them what you're going through. And sometimes people take more time to respond. I got really close to a friend that's actually from Korea, but she moved here years back, and it took her one year almost - maybe half a year or something to just even get closer to me. And after that, we became such close friends, and she sent me a postcard. So you know, I think you know when the chemistry works, but she's an example that it took longer for her to kind of get closer to me.

On Vulnerability

K: Do you find that it was or is still challenging to have that kind of public vulnerability with like your visual diary on Instagram.

I: Sometimes I think about it when I post it. In my mind, I always think about other people, and then you're like, "Oh my god, someone's going to roll their eyes at this or say here's this guy again - melodramatic, call it a story talking about his whatever." And I feel like there's always gonna be people like that. And I think there's also a whole level of transparency. I read an article about storytelling, and it's really important to tell a real story. I definitely agree with that. You know, if you don't want to be too transparent, you don't have to, but it's very different than, you know, he put a quote there saying, "Go, go go," and then another one, saying "Sometimes I'm out. Sometimes I'm down." Maybe they're both kind of superficial. But if you tie the last one down to the real story that capsulate, they're gonna feel more authentic, and you're going to be vulnerable and transparent enough so that people can resonate with you more. So there's a big difference. Like I said, if you put that, "Go go go," is really beautiful and bold and say, "Yea! You can keep going," it's like, okay, well, there are one million people are doing that. I feel like you have to tie it up to a bit of your work for consistency because otherwise, people will be like, "Okay, it's another quote."

K: Yeah, I agree. I feel like being vulnerable is just telling the truth, you know - the good and bad. It kind of feels like therapy for me in a way because I don't have to pretend. It's just what it is - almost like a weight off. You know what I mean? And I wish more people could experience that, and so whenever I find people who are kind of like what my therapist calls speaking the same language and getting it, it always makes me so excited.

I: Oh, for sure. And I actually haven't done therapy a lot. I did it back home in Romania with a good friend, and I'm considering it right now. I think there's a lot of things inside of us that we hide, and we hide them by watching Grace & Frankie seasons. When you're doing that - and I wrote about it - you are almost putting yourself at the second front. And on the first front, you're putting something there to forget about yourself, right? So in a way, you're kind of afraid to bring yourself back again and look at yourself and see how you can fix things. And then another year goes by - all 2020 goes by - and you see 10 million T.V. shows, but you are still on the second level. You're not on the first level. You're putting another story in front of you. And that's really therapy for us, I think because people are afraid of looking at their own story as a T.V. show, in a way almost. Yeah, you have to have the courage to see what's working and what's not working, and ask yourself, "Am I really happy?" or like, "I need to get better with people and all that or stuff." We're just afraid of facing it.

On Showing Up

K: I agree. It's really about the conversations, and the ones that you have with yourself are the most important ones. But people are really afraid, and I would even put myself in that category at times. But I think exactly acknowledging it is the hardest part for me to do sometimes - being afraid of whether I can handle the truth, you know?

I: It is, and I feel like to handle this, the first obstacle that you have, when you're facing it, is when someone doesn't respond the same way. You're trying to put yourself upfront, and you're so honest with yourself, but then you don't receive the reaction you would expect to get from them. And then you close yourself off again because that person doesn't respond the same way. But I learned that even with a romantic relationship, more or less last year. I was showing that person that I was trying as much as I could to be myself and to not try too much to be, you know, something else. And then if it's not working out, at least the good thing is that you can go home, take a bath, go to bed and say, "You know what? 've I been myself? It didn't work out, but I was being myself - the way I ate, the way talked, the way I spent my time with that person. I really tried to show that person that I am who I am."

On Creating Meaningful Work

This year is going to be a year to kind of like know me holding more and go into my work, but also grow more into being flexible with people, sometimes. Sometimes we have anxiety with people, and I have it as well. I feel like if you understand that you're not meant to be liked by everyone, you're going to be a little bit more peaceful with yourself. It's hard to be liked by everyone is that's not possible. I feel like it's a journey. And I'm hoping to kind of be on track with understanding that next year, I might be even more different than the last year, based upon what you're going through. So I think all that matters is to try to be honest with ourselves and try to grow out of it. So hopefully, it's gonna be another interesting year of learning things.

K: I hope so for sure. When I wake up first thing in the morning, I used to just get on social media, and now I just read or write for 30 minutes. I think there's something exciting that happens to your brain when you create before you consume.

I: For sure. And I feel like I also tried to like when I post something, even on my stories and all that, like on the actual post, I look at stuff, I interact with people because I think if you just post and you don't really -- I'm not saying to click random likes on Instagram accounts. Still, you also have to interact in that community with the people that you think it matters. So I do that. But then you have to stop because I think it's something in social media, how it works. Even though you have such strong self-control, if you don't know how to turn that swiping off, you're gonna end up spending one hour on swiping. It's really easy to get trapped into it and it's funny because in your mind, you know that you have to stop. But then you're like, "Oh! I had this quote. Oh my god! This thing and I got this. I need to save this. Oh, what is this?" And then you open up a whole thing, which becomes two hours. And I feel like nowadays, a lot of people are putting out such as fast content so people can take their eye quickly.

But at the same time, I'm trying to do some lettering and design on queer culture and gay culture. And I'm trying to make the lettering and message a little bit deeper, which means I want to look at magazines or books on what gay culture used to be in San Francisco in the 70s or 80s. Because that's when we're getting back to where we commented about like projects, that's when you get more grounded in your work. You're not just doing another cute Instagram post inspired by other Instagram posts. You're bringing another meaning to it. So getting back to your reading in the morning. If you read more complex stuff related to you, more or less if you want to apply to your work or not, when you post something, you're going to be able to add another layer of meaning to it. It's important, because if you want to inspire the queer community, the gay community and want people to resonate with it, there's a lot about this history and challenges that if you're trying to dissect and bring some visuals that talk about that, you're going to give people more reasons to listen to you. Look at your work from the perspective of someone that tries to understand things and looks at the history and produce something that it's less inspired by a Tumblr post, you know. So, I think that's where the hard part is. And I feel like that's where a lot of designers and photographers and people who create content can be seen differently than others because they take those 30 minutes in the morning, or maybe more to read stuff that adds another layer to their story.

To learn more about Ionut and his work, visit his website and follow him on Instagram.